Find the Perfect Wedding Dress: What to know before you begin the search
By Wendi Winters
Who comes to mind when you think of famous brides? Is it Princess Diana in her fluttery taffeta confection designed by the Emmanuels? Or Caroline Bessette, bride of John F. Kennedy Jr., standing in the church doorway as John-John chivalrously kisses her hand? She wore an equally elegant yet utterly simple silk charmeuse slip created by her coworker and friend Narciso Rodriguez. Going back further, people of a certain age remember the still-sophisticated costume worn by Grace Kelly at her marriage to Prince Rainier of Monaco. Helen Rose, of MGM’s costume department, made the covered-up dress as a gift from the Hollywood movie studio.
Those dresses vaulted their designers into stardom and remain in the public’s memory. Each of these wedding gowns defined an era, even though all three iconic brides met untimely, tragic ends. While you may not have a hundred paparazzi waiting for you outside the chapel door, your wedding dress is just as important. This may be the single most expensive outfit you will ever purchase, and, for many, the only time a garment was custom-made, sewn just for you.
What’s new this season?
While you might already have a gown style in mind, it’s always fun to check out what’s new, too. It might surprise some to discover that many of this season’s wedding gowns are paying homage to traditional styles of the past. Halter necklines, capelet sleeves, antique lace, cinched waists, open-toed stilettos, and ruffles are just a few vintage-style details that are hot right now.
Accents, sashes, trim, accessories, and crinoline skirts in lots of beautiful colors are showing up on designer runways: jewel tones (rich blues, greens, and especially purples), soft yellows, and silver and gray metallics are all making a huge splash, and if color’s not your bag, classic black-and-white combinations are back in fashion too.
Whether you are going with the trends or following your own unique style, the best advice regarding wedding attire is to plan ahead.
Be prepared: research and options
Unless the groom is standing outside with a wedding ring and a ladder, most brides should commence The Great Gown Search nine to eleven months before the big day. If you are getting married during a busy bridal month (May through October), try to get started 10 to 12 months early, if possible, so you are not running into all the other stressed-out bride-divas.
Buying a wedding dress is not like buying a pair of jeans. It’s not a zip in and zip out thing. If you don’t like it, you can’t return it for a refund. Purchases are final. Unlike in the local department store, where salesclerks are glorified cashiers, in a wedding dress shop expect some intense, hands-on service. Luxuriate in it: this is a level of service movie stars and gazillionaires routinely expect.
When you pay for the dress, pay with a check or credit card, so you have an unfailing record of payment(s). Also, keep a record of the price, label or designer, fabric content, style number, and details in case there is any question about the dress you have ordered (and the dress that you receive). If you can obtain a swatch, it will help you plan other aspects of the wedding, such as accessories, bridesmaids’ dresses, flowers, and table linens.
A good salesperson will spend time with you and ask a lot of questions before even showing you a single garment. She or he will ask when and where the wedding will be held, at what time of day, and how many people will attend. And he or she will want to know what kind of dress you envision for yourself. Expect that a good salesperson will be right in the dressing room with you, helping you in and out of the fragile, delicate dresses you want to try on. If you are not used to wearing couture, having an expert in there to assist you in navigating through petticoats, corsets, boning, tiny satin-covered buttons, hooks and eyes, bustles, and trains will be a godsend. Wear nice (yet modest) underwear; chances are you’ll be flashing those bloomers, and this is no time to get shy!
In turn, do your homework and arrive prepared. Sit down alone or with a trusted friend and go through several bridal fashion magazines. Clip out the images you like. See whether a pattern emerges. It may be that you prefer a certain silhouette (shape), fabric, or trim. You may find yourself attracted to traditional styles or sometimes something novel and unusual catches your eye. Perhaps you started out thinking you’d like a balldress, but sleeker styles have more appeal.
Avoid falling in love with a particular label. Sometimes a pricey designer’s look is echoed in a similar version at a significantly lower price.
The bridal shop visit
Next, call shops you are interested in visiting. Find out whether scheduling an appointment is the preferred method at a particular shop. If you are full-sized or petite, ask if there will be samples in your size available for you to try. Ask whether alterations cost extra or are included in the price of a dress. Is there a discount on alterations if the bridesmaids’ dresses are purchased at the shop, too? Ask what is the price range of dresses in the shop.
Try to limit how many shops you visit. The goal is to try on only a handful of dresses. It becomes confusing if you’ve slipped into dozens of dresses at numerous shops or wedding departments. Attempting to remember which shop had what policy or price range will only increase your stress.
When you go, take only one or two people whose taste and advice you respect. This is an adults-only excursion. Leave the kiddies with a babysitter. You want the salesperson advising you, not trying to prevent a toddler from single-handedly destroying six fragile dresses in one romp. Same goes for drinks, food, and cigarettes: they stay outside.
When you visit the shop, take along appropriate undergarments, foundation garments, slips, petticoats, and hosiery. If you’re not sure, pack an assortment to work with. It’s not a bad idea to take a long-line strapless bra if a strapless gown is on your wish list. Avoid patterned or lacy bras, which can be seen through a lightweight fabric. Molded or seamless cup bras are a good way to go.
Wearing your hair upswept for the wedding? Then arrange your hair in a similar style so you can see how the neckline, hair, and overall effect balance out in a three-way mirror. If you are wearing a tiara or vintage veil, bring it along to get the full Monty.
On the day of your appointment, wear a pair of comfortable slip-off shoes. Some stores wisely don’t allow customers to wear footwear in the stores. It prevents street soil from being tracked in, damaging the store’s inventory of dresses.
Keep your makeup to a bare minimum—you don’t want it to smear on the dresses. Bathe and ensure that your creams or moisturizers have had time to soak in before you try on merchandise. Do not wear tanning lotions, which can ruin a dress, and avoid perfumes or hair products. If you are a smoker hold off smoking anything that day until your store visits are over. Nowadays most customers are super-sensitive about trying on anything that reeks of smoke or perfume.
Take along the shoes you plan to wear at the wedding. It may sound a bit like putting the cart before the horse, but you need to wear the shoes while you are trying on dresses. They reveal how the dress hangs. In later visits, after the dress you have ordered arrives, wear the shoes again so the hem can be properly measured.
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If you don’t have the exact shoe yet, pick a heel height and stick with it throughout the fittings and your wedding day. A difference of a half-inch can throw off the look of a dress—or cause it to drag on the ground, setting you up for a tripping disaster.
Be sure to select low or medium-height shoes for your wedding. Even if you are tiny, avoid stilettos. You will be standing for hours and hours. The stress of balancing on painful, sky-high heels will show up clearly in photos of your face.
Finally, after buying your dress, think to the future. What are you going to do with it afterwards? If you intend to keep it for your daughter—or daughter-in-law—purchase a full-length cloth garment bag that will hold it. If none is available, wrap it in a clean muslin sheet. Plastic bags can, over time, discolor a gown. If you spill anything on the dress, have it cleaned before you store it. Consult with your cleaner about the best method. Some sequins, faux pearls, and glued-on embellishments cannot be dry cleaned, as they will melt or fall off.
Avoid services that put gowns in “vacuum packed” or “hermetically sealed” boxes. A number of these services have turned out to be scam artists and outright thieves. The best storage place is on a padded hanger, in a fabric bag, tucked in a dark closet, next to an inner wall, away from the temperature extremes of a cold, damp basement or a hot, dry attic.
If you plan to donate your dress to a charitable thrift shop or resell it through a consignment shop, do it quickly, before it goes out of style. Your thoughtful gesture just may be the perfect fit for another bride’s successful search!
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The after party: trashing the gown
A newer trend, which can be viewed on www.trashthedress.com, is to have “a little fun” with your wedding dress after the honeymoon. Brides, sometimes accompanied by an eager groom and always by a photographer, spend an afternoon romping in the dress in untraditional settings. One bride set her dress afire. Most settle for a romantic roll in a mossy creek bed or wear their wedding outfits while re-creating that erotically charged kissing scene of Deborah Kerr and Burt Lancaster splayed in the frothing surf in From Here To Eternity.
Since these days many gowns are made of polyester or washable fabrics, a quick trip to the cleaners and Mom will never find out—just remember to hide the photos.
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More: Read editor Stephanie Avent's weddings blog, The Perpetual Bride
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