It’s the most wonderful time of the year, unless the thought of socializing with people gives you anxiety. While many people feel shy or nervous in situations where they don’t know anyone very well, social anxiety is a recognized mental health disorder in which overwhelming fear of social situations can be so severe you want to avoid the situation altogether. If you find that your discomfort around social situations brings on negative self-beliefs—such as the thought that you’re not good enough—or triggers physical symptoms—such as sweating or trembling—it may be social anxiety.
But whether you find yourself dealing with clinical social anxiety or just general shyness, the big holiday party of the season can be difficult to navigate. Consider these 5 tips to help you handle the stress:
1. Make a conscious effort to replace negative self-talk with positive affirmations before, during, and after social situations. One reason socializing can be stressful is because we overthink everything we say and do. If you’re being self-critical, focus on the facts of the situation and remind yourself of everything that was good.
2. Build up your confidence by putting yourself in smaller, more intimate social situations where you feel more comfortable. Big gatherings with lots of people you don’t know can be overwhelming. You can get more comfortable socializing by doing it with a smaller group of people you know fairly well. This helps you build confidence and feel comfortable with holding conversations.
3. Do a little bit of planning and preparation beforehand to give yourself a confidence boost. Unfortunately, none of us can predict how every social interaction will go, but we can think through it a little bit ahead of time. Practice giving answers to popular small-talk questions and come up with a plan on how you’ll handle your anxiety if it gets to be too much—for example, excusing yourself to go outside and get a breath of fresh air.
4. Engage in self-care when you’re not socializing. It’s easier to manage your social anxiety symptoms when you’re relaxed and regularly engaging in activities that promote good overall mental health. Get plenty of exercise and sleep, and if a heavy social schedule has you feeling overwhelmed, make time for decompressing with meditation, deep breathing, or a warm bath.
5. Debrief with a trusted supporter and seek counseling if necessary. If you notice anything in particular triggers negative emotions while you’re socializing, discuss it with a partner, close friend, or family member later. They can offer support or advice that prevents you from dwelling on the negative emotion. If you find your social anxiety is too overwhelming, make an appointment with a therapist or counselor.
