Sip happens—sometimes people drink a little more than they intend to, they say a few things they didn’t mean to, and they feel less than their best the next day. Or maybe they didn’t actually enjoy an evening with friends because they don’t fully remember it.
At the center of it all: alcohol. Even when people don’t necessarily have a problem with abusing alcohol, that doesn’t mean alcohol is the healthiest choice.
It’s a challenge, however, when so much of adult life revolves around alcohol. But now there’s a growing trend of people choosing to be what’s known as sober curious. It doesn’t mean they’re totally sober—they’ll still drink on occasion. But they make a conscious decision to limit their drinking, or to abstain from it completely at certain times or in certain situations, as a way to challenge the norms of drinking culture.
What does it mean to be sober curious? That’s a good question, because it looks a little different for everyone. Some people who are sober curious might:
- Choose to drink only on special occasions, such as someone’s birthday or a holiday
- Avoid drinking on weeknights (or worknights, if they don’t keep a Monday–Friday schedule)
- Make deliberate decisions not to drink around certain people or in certain situations, such as when they’re in the company of sober friends (or when they are in the company of people who tend to overindulge)
- Take a prolonged period without alcohol, such as “Dry January” or “Oc-sober”
- Try drinking non-alcoholic beverages just for the sake of trying something different
- Limiting yourself to only one drink and then switching to water or club soda for the rest of a social activity
Buzz-Free Benefits
It should come as no surprise that being sober curious brings plenty of physical and mental health benefits. Moderating your alcohol consumption prevents chronic disease in the long term, and in the short term, it means better sleep, more energy, and stronger cognitive function. You make fewer destructive decisions, and you avoid the dreaded hangxiety—the feeling of anxiety many people report feeling the day after drinking.
But one big factor is that sober curiosity can help show support for and solidarity with people who have an alcohol-abuse disorder and have to go completely sober. It sends a clear message: Even for those of us who do drink, the social event doesn’t have to be about drinking.
But What About…?
In theory, going sober curious shouldn’t be a big challenge—if you’re not an alcoholic, it’s not a huge deal to cut back on alcohol. But even though the physical dependency isn’t there, sober curious individuals still face many of the same social challenges that a sober person would. Most activities involve drinking, such as going out to the bar or having happy hour on a friend’s porch.
There will be peer pressure, lots of questions, and limited non-alcoholic drink options. But you might find that more people will be, well, curious about your sober curiosity if you tell them about it. Answer their questions. Offer up some exciting drink options that don’t contain alcohol, and propose a central focus to a get-together that isn’t drinks, such as game night or a group hike.
Consider this: There’s a growing market for non-alcoholic beverages. Last year, sales of non-alcoholic beer went up by 32 percent, indicating that more people are trying to drink less. Additionally, JAMA Pediatrics reported that over a 16-year period between 2002 and 2018, the number of college-age young adults (ages 18–22) who abstain from drinking altogether went from 20 to 28 percent.
How Do I Even Start?
Because sober curious doesn’t mean giving up alcohol altogether, there’s no pressure to make every adjustment at the same time. Start by identifying a social event or a short period of time (one workweek, for example) when you’re not going to drink. See how it goes. If you find that you’re struggling, here are some tips that could help:
- Keep a log of triggers or motivations that make you want to drink, such as social anxiety or peer pressure.
- Try experimenting with different specialty mocktails that pair well with the food you’re eating or the activity you’re doing.
- Emphasize quality over quantity by savoring an expensive glass of wine you know you’ll really like or pacing yourself with a fancy cocktail throughout the course of the night.
Enjoy the chance to raise the bar (but not a glass) and keep a clear head in everything you do. You just might find you enjoy things better when you’re not making pour decisions.
Resources for Alcohol Abuse
Being sober curious works great for people who don’t have a problem with alcohol, but when a substance controls your life, it’s not as simple as skipping it a few nights. Here is a list of resources that can help you determine if you might have an alcohol-abuse disorder and what steps you can take to get the help you need:
National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism: www.niaaa.nih.gov/alcohols-effects-health
Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration: www.samhsa.gov/find-help/atod
Al-Anon Family Groups: www.al-anon.org
Alcoholics Anonymous: www.aa.org
LifeRing Secular Recovery: www.lifering.org
Moderation Management: www.moderation.org
SMART Recovery: www.smartrecovery.org
Women for Sobriety: www.womenforsobriety.org
Mocktails You’ll Want to Try
Mock Mule
- 3/4 cup ginger beer
- 1/4 cup lime seltzer
- 1 large piece of ginger (candied)
- 1 lime
Chop the ginger into small pieces and slice the lime. Combine ginger beer and lime seltzer, and pour into a copper mug over ice. Stir in ginger and garnish with a slice of lime.
Apple Cider Sour
- 1 teaspoon sugar
- 1 teaspoon lemon juice
- 1/4 cup apple cider
- 1/4 cup cranberry seltzer
- 1 orange slice
Combine the sugar, lemon juice, apple cider, and seltzer in a tall glass and stir until sugar is dissolved. Add ice to chill and garnish with orange slice.
Virgin Mojito
- 1/4 cup lime juice
- 1 tablespoon sugar
- 2 tablespoons loosely packed fresh mint (plus sprig for garnish)
- 1 cup seltzer water
Add mint leaves and lime juice to the bottom of a glass and muddle with the end of a spoon until the mint has released its oils and smells fragrant. Add the sugar and seltzer, stirring until the sugar is dissolved. Add ice to chill and garnish with a fresh sprig of mint.
