Plus, 4 More Ways to Stop Worrying So Much
Are my kids safe right now?” “How am I going to afford that big car repair?” “Will I be able to make this deadline for work?”
Sometimes it can feel as if your daily thoughts are just a series of one worry after another. Maybe some of those worries are about things that are within your control. Maybe some of them are things you have no control over at all. Regardless of whether they are justified worries or not, it just gets overwhelming. You feel as if you’re worrying way too much—and you don’t know how to make it stop!
The reality is you’re not alone. Practically everyone worries. Worrying can be a good thing in a healthy amount, because it indicates that you care about what’s happening to you. Your care or interest is what keeps you motivated and gets you to tackle problems.
The problem is that many of us don’t even realize we’re conflating our healthy worrying with our unhealthy worrying. People start to perceive their constant worrying as positive, because it empowers them to control as much as they can. What they don’t realize is that too much worry affects their daily function and their relationships.
The Mayo Clinic explains that excessive worrying can manifest itself in such symptoms as fatigue, irritability, restlessness, appetite changes, and even poor concentration or lack of focus.
So, what are you supposed to do about it? Dealing with worry can be a short- or long-term resolution. Catching yourself with an overwhelming worry in the moment requires you to shake off that negative thinking so you can focus on what you need to during the day. Over time, you want to reduce these overall instances so that worry isn’t your default mental state.
The next time you have a worrisome thought, stop and ask yourself these questions:
- Is this worry about something I can control with tangible, practical steps?
- Is this worry so great that it’s distracting me from what I’m doing right now?
- Is this worry affecting the way I treat those around me?
If you answered no, yes, yes to those questions, you’re looking at an unhealthy form of worrying.
When you find yourself worrying about something in the moment, try to shake it off by focusing on your Five Senses:
5 things you can see: Identify objects or people immediately around you, whether they are loved ones, buildings, trees, animals, cars, or furniture.
4 things you can feel: You might be able to feel something with your fingertips, such as the texture of nearby furniture, or something in the atmosphere, such as the warmth of the sunshine on your face.
3 things you can hear: Listen and name three sounds. They might be obvious, such as the song playing on the radio, or more atmospheric, such as the hum of your air conditioner or the clack of a coworker typing at the computer.
2 things you can smell: Take a deep breath and try to name what’s in the air around you. Is it the scent of freshly cut grass? A candle? A cleaning product?
1 thing you can taste: Finally, identify what taste is in your mouth. It could be the after-flavor of lunch you just finished, the coffee you’re drinking, or the mouthwash you just gargled.
The Mayo Clinic encourages this exercise because focusing on sensory elements like these takes your mind off whatever it is that’s consuming you and brings you back to the here and now. It grounds you in your present time and location. Once you’ve interrupted your unhealthy thought pattern, it’s easier to stay away from it, at least temporarily.
Over the long term, you need to figure out how you’re going to minimize your worrying so that you don’t have to engage in this exercise regularly. A few steps that experts recommend are:
1. Scheduling time to worry: This sounds like an unusual approach, but studies with Penn State University found it helped test subjects get their worry under control in less than a month. Set a designated appointment with yourself when you’re allowed to worry—for example, 10 minutes at the beginning of the day. By giving yourself this specific time to worry, you can keep it from consuming your entire day.
2. Journal about your worries: Take a chance to write down your worries. Seeing them on paper can help you rethink them and put them in perspective. After you’ve written them down, list the actionable steps you can take to address those worries.
3. Get physical activity: Worrying can sometimes be a manifestation of our excess energy. By getting plenty of exercise, we not only get distraction from whatever it is that bothers us, but we also reaffirm our own abilities and release endorphins, leaving us empowered to solve our problems.
4. Talk to someone: In some cases, you might be able to talk through your worries with a friend or a family member who can offer advice and support. In other situations, it may be more appropriate to seek professional counseling with a licensed therapist who can teach you positive coping mechanisms.
