According to the Centers for Disease Control, in 2023, suicide was among the top eight leading causes of death for people ages 10 to 64 and the second leading cause of death for people ages 10 to 34. To address this urgent issue in our community, For All Seasons is launching its annual suicide prevention campaign under the theme “I'm Fine” Isn’t the Whole Story – a message reminding us that the people we care about might be struggling silently behind words that seem reassuring.
So often, when we ask someone how they’re doing, we hear “I’m fine.” But, what if that’s not the whole story? What if, underneath that response, there’s something more serious they don’t know how to share?
For many, talking about suicide is scary and uncomfortable. It can feel like there’s a “right” thing to say, but what if you say the wrong thing instead?
Here’s the truth: talking about suicide doesn’t make things worse. Starting the conversation shows you care and might be a relief for someone afraid to talk about what they are experiencing. It may help save a life.
The Mayo Clinic Health System emphasizes the power of reaching out, saying, “It improves mental health outcomes and the likelihood that the person will seek treatment. If someone is in crisis or depressed, asking if they are thinking about suicide can help, so don’t hesitate to start the conversation.”
A small, compassionate question can be the start of something life-changing:
“Hey. You’ve seemed off lately. Are you okay?”
“I’m worried about you. Are you thinking about hurting yourself?”
When we look past the words “I’m fine” and trust our instincts, we often notice signs that something isn’t right. Most people show warning signs before a suicide attempt. And, while we can’t be responsible for someone else’s actions, we can be the person who helps them get to a safer place.
The National Institutes of Health and the American Foundation for Suicide Prevention offer five steps that can guide you when you suspect someone is struggling with suicidal thoughts:
- ASK. Say it out loud: “Are you thinking about suicide?” Don’t sugarcoat it. Don’t tiptoe around it. Just ask. Research shows that this doesn’t make things worse; it helps.
- BE THERE. No judgment. No fixing. Just listen. Try something like: “I’m really glad you’re telling me this. Thank you for trusting me.” You don’t need to have all the answers. Just be present.
- KEEP THEM SAFE. If someone says they’re thinking about suicide, ask: “Do you have a plan?” If the answer is yes, help reduce access to anything dangerous. Stay with them. Talk it through. Get support.
- HELP THEM CONNECT. Let them know they’re not alone. Acknowledge their pain and offer: “This is a lot. Let’s talk to someone who can help.” “We can call 988 together. I’ll stay with you.” Help them connect to a therapist, a parent, a school counselor, a spiritual advisor, or a friend. You can also call or text 988, the Suicide & Crisis Lifeline.
- FOLLOW UP. The conversation doesn’t end when the moment passes. Supportive, ongoing contact can play an important role in suicide prevention. Check in tomorrow, the next day, and the week after. A simple message like “thinking of you” or “want to grab lunch?” can remind someone they matter.
What If You See Something Online?
If someone posts something online that feels like a cry for help, don’t scroll past. Most social media platforms have tools to report concerning posts and send support. Learn more about that at 988lifeline.org/help-someone-else/support-on-social-media.
If you're concerned about someone, don’t wait. Trust your gut. Check in. Because sometimes, the people who say “I’m fine” are the ones who need us most.
For All Seasons’ 24-Hour Crisis Hotlines:
- English: 410.820.5600
- Español: 410.829.6143
- English/Español Text Line: 410.829.6143
- National Suicide & Crisis Lifeline: Dial 988
Each September, For All Seasons launches its annual “No Matter What… You Matter” suicide prevention campaign. For more information, please visit www.NoMatterWhatYouMatter.org.
For All Seasons Behavioral Health & Rape Crisis Center offers mental health services, victim and crisis support, and education & outreach on Maryland’s Mid-Shore and throughout the state. The agency’s unique model of care ensures anyone can receive the highest-quality, trauma-certified mental health care when they need it, regardless of language or ability to pay. For more information about For All Seasons, please call (410) 822-1018 or visit www.ForAllSeasonsinc.org.
