Photos by Rob Jinks Photography
Rob Jinks
Couple: Melissa Bitter, a high school ESOL teacher with Prince George's County Public Schools, and Eddie Lu, a sushi chef in Washington, D.C.
How they met: At a billiards parlor in Virginia Beach when they were both 18. Melissa was playing wing woman to one of her friends, who was hoping to impress a guy from work. Eddie was that guy's friend. "We spent the night making small talk until Eddie casually got my number by asking me to text him my MySpace URL (oh, 2008)," Melissa says. She still has the photo from the night they met.
Their wedding plan, pre-COVID: A 100-person ceremony at St. Hugh of Grenoble Catholic Church in Greenbelt, Maryland, where Melissa's parents were married in 1982, followed by a reception at Positano Restaurant in Baltimore. "The theme was Southern Italian with lemons, mismatched wine bottles, and colored flowers," Melissa says. The couple had also planned to have a reception in China in October 2020 honoring Eddie's family and heritage.
Rob Jinks
Rob Jinks
Rob Jinks
How did COVID-19 disrupt your plans? What did you come up with as your Plan B?
Melissa: We were first met with disappointment due to COVID-19 in mid-February when Eddie’s father’s visa interview was cancelled indefinitely. We knew Eddie’s father wouldn’t be with us, but I was brainstorming ideas of using a projector to play video messages from China at the reception. We decided to officially reschedule at the end of March. We had just completed a weekend of addressing invitations and putting together decorations for the reception. The plan was to put the invitations in the mail on Monday, March 23, but then everything started to shut down. We decided to hold off on mailing and began speaking with our vendors to see if postponement was possible. Everyone was amazing; we found a date in September 2020 that worked for all our vendors and my mom helped us create DIY “save a new date” cards that we mailed out instead.
Rob Jinks
Rob Jinks
Rob Jinks
Rob Jinks
Why did you decide to elope?
Melissa: We decided to elope for a couple of reasons. First, Eddie and I have known each other for nearly 12 years -- since we were 18. It was a long road for us, both forging our own paths in life before realizing what we were missing was each other. When we got engaged last July, the overwhelming response from family and friends was “FINALLY.”
Second, a small wedding was something we always wanted. After we got engaged, we both felt like we didn’t want to wait and had kicked around ideas for small ceremonies or legally getting married while planning a bigger affair. We decided to wait for a big wedding because we knew how important it was to our families and friends to celebrate and that it might be our one opportunity to get our families together from across the globe. However, when our original date was no longer happening and with September feeling uncertain, it just seemed silly to wait.
On a practical level we wanted to make sure we were legally joined and could take care of each other if anything were to happen. We had the full support of our families as well as our priest and went about picking a date to elope. We settled on April 30 because it was one month before our original date as well as a lucky day on the Chinese calendar (like our original date), a cultural superstition that was important to Eddie’s family for us to honor.
Rob Jinks
Rob Jinks
Rob Jinks
Rob Jinks
Obviously, you were fairly limited in who you could invite and what you could do to celebrate. What details were important to you in planning your elopement?
Melissa: Luckily, religious services and weddings are still essential business with a ten-person limit. This meant we could have our ceremony in the church. Our priest was wonderful and so supportive of our decision. We kept the ceremony as planned with the original readings and music we had selected. The church organist and cantor also helped us make it special with music and were two of our ten. Our photographer, Rob Jinks, was amazing and willing to take photos from a distance. We had four official guests including my mom and dad, Eddie’s mom and a close family friend. The hardest part was not having Eddie’s father, my sister (maid of honor), or my best friend (bridesmaid) there in person, but we Facetimed up until I walked down the aisle.
We set up a private Facebook group to live stream the ceremony for close friends and family. Then, we did a Zoom meeting for everyone to join after for a micro reception where we could talk to them. The most important reception elements to us were a toast, first dance, and cake cutting. We had hoped to celebrate in the backyard of my parents’ house, conveniently located across the street from the church, to allow our local friends to do a pass by and watch our little reception events from afar. Unfortunately, the weather had other plans. April 30th called for non-stop rain, so we moved our little reception to the church basement and decorated it using lights and colored bottles we had prepared for our original date and it turned out to be very romantic.
My mother was instrumental in making all the little details happen. She altered the dress I ordered, since my original Stella York gown was mid-alterations in a closed shop. She made our wedding cake as well as my bouquet and Eddie’s boutonniere from Costco flowers. Finally, for the toast, we used glasses from my parents' wedding and played our first dance song over a Bluetooth speaker.
Rob Jinks
Rob Jinks
Rob Jinks
Will your September reception follow your original plan?
Melissa: The biggest change will be the ceremony, which will be a vow renewal ceremony. Eloping really showed us how important it is to celebrate with family and friends. We want to have a celebration of love by adding a blessing for married couples in attendance to also reaffirm their vows. However, we recognize that things still might not be safe come September. We plan to decide in July whether to postpone a third time. If we do, we’ll push as far out as September 2021 to be safe and will likely reconsider following our original plan and just have a beautiful party. No matter what, I need to wear my Stella York wedding dress at least once, even if just for formal pictures with my husband in a tux.
Rob Jinks
Rob Jinks
Rob Jinks
Rob Jinks
What advice do you have for other couples hoping to get married this year?
Melissa: Our biggest piece of advice is to do what feels right for you and your partner. Don’t worry about what other people are going to think. Every family is different, but we were met with resounding support and understanding from those around us. A small intimate wedding was something that always appealed to us, and although we weren’t thinking this small our elopement felt, so “us”. The love can still be felt virtually and little details are still possible.
On a more practical note, talk to your photographer or videographer about helping you capture the moment following safety guidelines. We had an unused engagement session in our package, which our photographer was able to replace with elopement photos. The photos we got are more beautiful than I could have ever imagined, especially since we rolled with the punches and took photos in the rain.
Lastly, involving technology is essential, so loved ones can be there virtually. However, try to have a tech savvy person as one of your ten to keep an eye on the streaming or zoom sessions. We found it hard for us to check and monitor tech issues while we were in the midst of it.
Rob Jinks
Rob Jinks
Rob Jinks