Photography by Stephen Buchanan
From the first gentle dunking of a peeled, steamed shrimp into the butter-broth bath of Creole-Nantucket-Chesapeake influence (yes, a hodgepodge of seasoning that somehow works oh so well) to last morsel of Dungeness knuckle drenched in this richness, the Crafty Crab experience was happily savored. On a cold, winter Tuesday night, amidst the chaos of the work/school week, a hearty spread of seafood—steamed/boiled, fried—was the decided treat that would offer my family of four repast and full bellies. Our meal was, altogether, swell. We had fun, the restaurant was unique, and the food delicious.
The name of the restaurant demystifies what you’re going to get into here, but the preparation and presentation of the seafood differs from what us Marylanders are accustomed to. The New Orleans influence is evident as the star dishes on the menu are actually Lowcountry “boils” of seafood menageries. Snow crab, King crab, Dungeness crab, blue crab (seasonal), crawfish, lobster, shrimp, scallops, mussels, clams, and more can be selected in combinations and steam/boiled in a seasoned broth. You choose a style of seasoning, as well as spice level (mild to fire). There is plenty else on the menu from which to choose including fresh shucked oysters, fried seafood baskets, a few salads, chicken wings, and a smattering of sides you’d likely find at a Louisiana backyard boil.
The atmosphere is unique, too. Crafty Crab has a sports bar-meets-seaside shanty vibe, all wrapped in the contemporary and clean lines of a professionally-run eatery. There are surfboards caught in fish netting, a mounted shark, and enough large-screen televisions with whatever games are on to satisfy jocular inquiry. Dark wood from floor to ceiling, along with leather-back seating dominates the dining room. Each table or booth is “clothed” in white butcher paper, indicative of the feasts about to ensue. Service is friendly from front-of-house to waitstaff. The entire aura is casual but exciting. And though we personally didn’t experience karaoke singing, a Conga dance line, or limbo contest on our visit, there are more than a few video reviews posted online with evidence of these engaging activities. Go figure!
Back to the food. Do order the seafood boils. Try as much as your wallet affords. Though Crafty Crab can be somewhat pricey (the seafood can log more air miles in one trip than most of us in a year), we found the small sized Seafood Platter (a half-pound each of snow crab, crawfish, shrimp, green mussels, clams, corn, and potatoes) with the addition of Dungeness crab and sausage (another half-pound per), to be more than adequate for two, very hungry adults and quite reasonable on the bottom line. Our kids each tried a fried basket (catfish for one, crabcakes the other). And for the purposes of this review, we added an order of six Buffalo wings, calamari, and a shrimp salad. Seriously, this was a huge amount of food. Big gluttony came easy.
There’s also more than a dozen sauces/dressings to zing up the nibbles. And to quench your thirst—yes, you will become very thirsty—a commanding fleet of cocktails, beers, select wines, and sodas (Pepsi products) is available. With all of our selections made, the feasting began.
Right off the bat and most intriguing was the presentation of the Seafood Platter (boil), which arrives as a bountiful bundle in a large, clear plastic bag. Unwrapped, the waft of freshly prepared crustaceans is olfactory heaven. If you ordered your seasoning on the food, be prepared for a messier meal of cracking than if you ordered it on the side. On the side was the right call for us. We cracked and picked our way through all seafood, happily dipping and lapping up each bite.
The seasoning we chose—“buttery garlic”—was rooted in the Crafty Crab’s house blend of herbs and spices, but amplified with this selected richness. It was a spectacular dipping sauce for just about everything on the table, including the Kielbasa-style sausage coins, potatoes, and corn mixed into the boil. I detected hints of red chili pepper, tarragon, and celery seed, among other notes, that traipsed the palate in harmony. “Now dat’s magnifique!” as one might say in Nawlins French-slang.
The fried selections were adequately satisfying with the catfish and calamari boasting the same zesty, thin coating of cornmeal-based batter. The filets of fish and rings of squid were moist from a perfect fry and the flecks of black pepper in the batter had just enough oomph to make the kiddos wide-eyed. The salad with shrimp offered some much-needed greenery to the evening’s diet (though interestingly, the baby shrimp atop the greens were also fried).
Photography by Stephen Buchanan
With high marks awarded easily by each of us around the table for these dishes, there were but two that hadn’t received any. The crabcakes were modest on backfin meat and heavy on filler. The sweetness of breading competed with (and won against) the flavor profile of crab that we all long for when ordering this beloved dish. Also fried, the crabcakes offered little excitement in comparison to the physical cracking of large snow crab clusters or succulent crawdad morsels. Equally so, the Buffalo-style chicken wings underwhelmed. Our order suffered from over-frying, which unfortunately equals over-drying. Minimally sauced and miniscule in size, the wings were having an off night we suppose.
That said, minor missteps like these are easy to overlook with an abundance of success. And at Crafty Crab, the heart and soul are rooted in classic, seafood boil experiences reminiscent of the Big Easy. By adding dashes of New England provenance and hints of Chesapeake influence, the more than 65 locations of this growing seafood franchise are undoubtedly serving memorable coastal experiences to their patrons, even when tucked within the landlocked expanse of suburbia.
Crafty Crab; 6800 Race Track Road, Bowie; 240-245-3715; craftycrabrestaurant.com