Unfortunately, most people aren’t observing that rule. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s most recent National Survey of Family Growth (2011–2015), only 24 percent of unmarried men ages 15 to 44 reported using a condom every time they engaged in sexual activity. That number is even lower for women within the same age range, of whom only 19 percent use one every time. On the other hand, 66 percent of men and 75 percent of women reported using a condom none of the time.
Those numbers are troubling because condoms aren’t just about preventing pregnancy—they’re an effective means of preventing sexually transmitted diseases (also called sexually transmitted infections). And with the CDC citing 20 million new STDs in the United States every year, practicing safe sex isn’t a recommendation to be taken lightly. It’s a necessity!
As the American Academy of Family Physicians (and probably every sex ed class out there) emphasizes, abstinence is the only 100 percent guaranteed way to prevent pregnancy and STDs. But sexual activity between consenting adults can provide stress relief, increase trust and empathy in a relationship, and, even, produce immunity-boosting antibodies and pain-relieving hormones.
24% of unmarried men ages 15 to 44 reported using a condom every time they engaged in sexual activity
For new couples, being honest about sexual history is important, and experts such as those at the U.S. National Library of Medicine and the U.S. Office of Disease Control and Prevention encourage getting tested for STDs before engaging in sexual activity with a new partner. It’s not a conversation you should feel uncomfortable having with your doctor, who knows better than anyone that getting tested is always a responsible thing to do and something most adults do at some point in their lives; however, if you don’t like the thought of discussing your sexual history with your doctor, there are specialized clinics that provide testing (in fact, this is one of the services offered by Planned Parenthood, which has a listing of clinics at www.plannedparenthood.org).
STD tests are harmless and noninvasive: Common methods include urine tests, cheek swab tests, or blood tests. If you do find out you have an STD, it might be curable with medication; if not, your doctor can advise you how to manage the symptoms and not pass the STD on to your partner.
Although birth control methods like the pill, a cervical cap, or a diaphragm can be used to prevent pregnancy, they will not protect you against an STD, which are spread by direct contact with body fluids, sores on the genitals or mouth, or even the skin around the genitals. Wearing a condom protects you by creating a barrier against these during intercourse.
The Food & Drug Administration recommends using condoms made from latex or polyurethane because these are the materials that can prevent passage of HIV, hepatitis, or herpes. It’s still important to check the label on the package to make sure the condoms are made to prevent disease. Today’s market has novelty condoms that are made only for sexual stimulation, not disease protection or pregnancy prevention.
Using lubrication will reduce the risk of breaking the condom, and although many condoms come pre-lubricated, there are still many others that do not. If you apply lubricant yourself, use a water-based lubricant only. Oil-based or petroleum-based lubricants—including petroleum jelly (Vaseline), baby oil, or lotion—can weaken the latex, increasing the chances of it breaking.
Storing the condoms in a hot place will also increase the risk of breakage, which is why you shouldn’t keep condoms in places like a glove compartment or carry them in your back pocket. You’re safer keeping them in the breast pocket of your coat or in your briefcase.
And though it may seem obvious, be careful about opening up the package. Don’t use your teeth or sharp fingernails, and do it in a well-lit area so you can see what you’re doing. Remember that being under the influence of alcohol can make you clumsy or impair your judgment.
Being responsible is sexy. Keep this information in mind to ensure that your Valentine’s Day is as safe as it is romantic.