By Kelsey Casselbury
If you're lucky, you have people in your life who energize you. They ing light when it feels gloomy and inspire you when you feel prosaic. But then, there are also those who do the exact opposite—they drain, ing darkness, and deaden your imagination. These toxic people, or energy vampires, as some call them, add nothing to your life, but they just seem to keep showing up.
You can tell that this person is toxic because they suck the vitality right out of you every single time you're together. When all is said and done, you feel emotionally drained, negative, and mentally exhausted. However, it's not always that easy to figure out who the toxic people are in your life because these folks are often master manipulators—and you don't even realize that you're under their influence.
Signs of a Toxic Person
1
They never apologize. Toxic people are thin-skinned, and they must always be right. They will argue even the most minor of issues, and they will never say “I’m sorry” to a person who is hurt by their actions or words.
2
Someone has always wronged them. They are always the victim. At least in their own eyes. They were late because their spouse didn’t wake them up, not because they forgot to set the alarm. They’re super hungry because their boss made them stay late to work on a project, or they neglected to meet an earlier deadline. It’s never their fault.
3
They complain about other people constantly. It’s easy to find weaknesses in a person, but toxic people seem to only to point out the bad things about others—and they do
it often. Toxic people gossip about others, bad-mouthing even people whom they might consider a friend.
4
You feel defensive around them. You’re always walking on eggshells and anything you say or do might lead to a conversation in which you feel like you have to defend yourself or others. You might feel the need to defend a decision you made or a mutual friend’s behavior, even if it has nothing to do with this toxic person.
5
They judge everything and everyone. No one is safe from this person’s opinions.
What to Do Next
A toxic person wants to get their way, no matter what. It's hard to protect yourself from their lies, drama, and negativity. In a perfect world, you could just walk away, stop answering phone calls and text messages, and be done with it. If that's not an option, here's what you can do:
Set boundaries, and be honest about them. Tell this person what you can and can’t do for them at any given time, and be consistent with those boundaries.
Create distance, both literally and figuratively. If the toxic person is a coworker, ask a supervisor if you can move farther away to a new desk. Block the person on social media to create figurative distance, so you’re not continually seeing or interacting with the person on a digital level.
Encourage therapy, if appropriate. If this person is a close friend or a family member
and you think there's a reason for the negativity, narcissism, lies, and other toxic behavior, gently suggest that they might benefit from seeking professional help.
Don't feel like you owe them an explanation. Nothing you say will ease the situation,
so don't even try.
Don't feel guilty. This person will try their hardest to send you on a massive guilt trip, but remember that you’re doing this to save your own mental health.
