No matter how old you are, at some point you may face the existential question, how long will I live? How much time is left? Even more importantly, how can you ensure that your remaining years will be good years? During this “Year of the Woman,” as we celebrate 100 years of progress women have made, “What’s Up? Media” interviewed four area nonagenarians who candidly and generously shared their personal stories. Each is 90 or older, two are closing in on 100, and all show the pluck and verve to get there.
Miss Bea
She might as well be “Queen Bea.” Holding court in the living room of her daughter’s home in Bloomsbury Square in downtown Annapolis, she’s surrounded by her three “babies:” daughter Jackie, age 73, daughter Burma, age 80, and son Joseph, age 79. The only one missing, who lives in New Jersey, is daughter Sharon, age 77.
Beatrice Palestine Smith was born Dec. 21, 1920. And it’s clear right away what keeps her going. “These are my angels,” she says.
In addition to her four children, eight grandchildren, seven great-grandchildren, and two great-great-great-grandchildren, Asbury Methodist Church and Bates Senior Center form the focus of her days.
At Bates, where she volunteers every weekday—except for Friday when she gets her hair done—she’s behind the snack bar serving customers with her pals, two men in their 70s and 80s. “It’s Bob, Bea, and Bill,” she says laughing. Something of an icon in the African-American community, when she walks into Asbury Methodist Church, her children proclaim “it’s like Lazarus arising from the dead. They clap and hug her.” When asked how she got to be nearly 100, she points to “the man upstairs.”
Rita
Like Miss Bea, religion features prominently in Rita Kapuch’s life, too. A first glance at her home in Heritage Harbor tells the story of an active life. Walls are lined with collections of colorful plates sporting images of children, a series of racks displaying 300 spoons, a glass case with Hummel, Lenox, and dolls from all over the world—testament to her ability to attract friends and keep relatives. Born in September, 1921, Rita’s erect posture and meticulous appearance—a belted, beige dress, pearls, and high heels—belie her 98 years.
Three days a week she attends Mass at noon and—like Miss Bea—gets her hair done weekly, too. Every Tuesday morning, she volunteers a four-hour shift in the central gift shop at Anne Arundel Medical Center. A member of the hospital Auxiliary for 30 years, Rita quips “I’ve helped a lot of grandparents buy teddy bears for their new grandchild.”
Like Miss Bea, Rita is clearly proud of her three children. Daughter Linda is an Episcopal priest, Tom, a Naval Academy graduate, is a retired Navy captain, and Steven now works at the Pentagon. She also beams over her five grandchildren. Grandson Joe just completed a residency in neurosurgery at the Mayo Clinic. Granddaughter Katie has her doctorate and is a professor at Texas Tech University. Christine is in communications with Georgia Tech. Stephanie works in business development and Jennifer just graduated from George Mason. Family members visit often, but it’s her friends and work at the hospital that keep her the busiest.
“I’d like to quit eventually,” she muses, “but my friends won’t let me.” Her friends are 85 and 83.
Anna
It’s that sense of purpose, a reason to get up and out every morning, that drives all these women. There’s no better example than Anna E. Greenberg.
Well-known in Annapolis for her volunteerism, Anna—like Miss Bea—was born in town, Dec., 1929. Many are astonished to learn that this active, “professional volunteer,” as she refers to herself, is 90.
She plans her days with a meeting or appointment nearly every morning to “get up and get out,” but does allow herself an occasional Saturday morning “to lounge in.” Like Rita and Miss Bea, she keeps a weekly hair appointment.
Anna, too, professes pride in her three, adult granddaughters and her children. Daughter Joyce is a successful New York businesswoman; son David is a nonprofit executive who lives in Baltimore.
Returning to Annapolis after life abroad with her husband Ed, a 1950 graduate of the United States Naval Academy, Anna made it her personal mission to help nonprofit organizations. Her impact has been far-reaching, but none more so than the Annapolis Symphony Orchestra where she twice served as board president and laid the groundwork in the 1990s for its current success. Along with the Symphony, she is proud of her work with Hadassah which “taught me how to fundraise, speak, and organize.” A founding member of many major nonprofits, she is honored to serve on the St. John’s College Board of Visitors and Governors.
Religion features in her life. As Anna quips, “God doesn’t need me yet. He still wants me to do good things here.” She’s witnessed anti-Semitism and has served Jewish organizations to combat it and to advance Jewish causes.
Eva
Like Anna, another lady new to her 90s exudes a sense of purpose. Eva Brann may be the most renowned nationally of the four nonagenarians. Born in January, 1929, she is a former dean and longest serving tutor at St John’s College. A 2005 recipient of the National Humanities Medal, Eva is widely credited with advancing the college’s unique “Great Books” program. With her parents she left Berlin, Germany, at age 12 just ahead of World War II.
Single her entire life—but “not for lack of possibilities”—Eva counts among her “children” the hundreds of St John’s students she’s tutored and mentored over more than 60 years. Widely published, she’s currently on contract with two colleagues for a series of books translating Plato from Greek to English for college and high school students. It’s a highly disciplined process. Every third week, each of the trio has to proof a page, striving for “absolute accuracy and readability in English.”
Clearly a leader in her field, today Eva tutors with a colleague. She says her dean pairs her with a younger colleague to be sure someone is there if she gets sick and, she surmises, “to keep an eye on the younger ones.”
She loves being around younger people, great books, and the free-flowing discussions. After 62 years Eva admits “I’ve heard pretty much everything, but it’s always new coming out of a different mouth.”
What about health?
All four women use the word “blessed” in summarizing their lives, no more so than when describing their health. Some work at it. Others laugh.
Eva describes her health as “good.” She stopped jogging years ago when balance issues arose. She once preferred “Jewish tennis. You go up to the net and discuss current affairs.” Her primary care doctor has ruled out further mammograms. As he quipped” “If there’s anything going on with you, you’ll be dead by the time we can do anything about it.”
Miss Bea regularly sees her primary care physician, a cardiologist and an ophthalmologist for macular degeneration. With daily eye drops she’s doing well. Her children claim her hearing is excellent: “She hears everything she’s not supposed to hear.”
Rita also suffers from macular degeneration that’s under control with care. She once square-danced and took long walks around the Naval Academy but admits today she is “much slower.” “I’m going to take it easy. I want to do what I can.”
Anna says her health is “excellent” and credits decades of a rigorous exercise routine. She’s had a personal trainer for 25 years and works out every Tuesday and Friday for one hour with weights, bars, and ropes.
When it comes to diet and alcohol, there’s wide divergence.
More traditionally health-conscious, Anna adheres to a lean selection of salads, fish, and only an occasional dessert. “I’ve watched calories my entire life. My father cautioned me, you’re a big- boned woman.” She does, however, like alcohol: “Vodka during the day; Scotch at night.”
Rita describes her diet as “on the plain side”—no gourmet food. When children visit, she likes to prepare a Lithuanian dish of cabbage, potatoes, and carrots.
To Eva “green is poisonous.” She hates beans but likes Brussels sprouts and spinach, if creamed. She eats what she likes and it’s often sweets, hamburgers, and cheese sandwiches. As for alcohol, she’s not a drinker claiming she “just doesn’t care for it.”
Miss Bea is the same. Ask her about her diet and she cracks up: “O Lord!” She eats everything. “No restrictions, that’s for sure!” For her it’s all about BBQ, crab cakes, and butter pecan ice cream, as much as she can get. She doesn’t drink, but admits “I had my share of that,” mostly Johnny Walker. These days it’s cold water or iced tea.
How about mental health?
Although each of these ladies is highly active, strong in character, focused on her work, or volunteerism, there’s a certain melancholy that seeps through their conversation.
Despite having many friends, all suffer from something that’s surprising. Ironically, they do not know any women, or very few, who are their age. Eva puts it best. “Even though I spend my life among the young, I suffer from tenth-decade loneliness.”
For Anna and Rita, there’s also an undeniable loneliness that widowhood has wrought. Anna was married for 54.5 years when Ed died suddenly in 2004 of cardiac arrest. “Ed opened up the world to me and supported me in whatever I did.” Rita was married to Joe for 66 years. He died in 2014 and she “misses him every day.” She dreads June 28, the anniversary of his death and says, “They say it gets easier with time, but not for me.”
Despite the loss of her husband, Anna claims nothing depresses her Does she ever feel blue? “No. I don’t have time for that.” She does admit to feeling more impatient. “Time is short. Punctuality is important to me.”
Miss Bea lost her husband in April, 1968 – “the same month as Martin Luther King died.” She, too, never gets depressed. Her kids chime in “She’s not home long enough.” Dubbing herself a “rent-a-mourner,” she attends many funerals and accepts what will come next. “I know I’m gonna’ leave here one of these days to meet my master.”
Eva also believes staying busy is the best medicine for mental health: “The best cure-all is work.” You have to focus “and then you’re not thinking about yourself.” She adds: “Everything that doesn’t make you cry makes you laugh.”
Are genes a factor?
Diet, exercise, staying active in something you love—all are factors these women can and do control. But what about their parentage? Research indicates genetic heritage can make a difference in longevity.
Once more, there are commonalities. In most cases at least one parent lived into a ninth decade. Miss Bea’s mom was 99 when she died. Rita’s father was 96. Eva’s parents lived into their 70s and 80s. Only Anna’s mom died earlier…in her 50s.
Perhaps more significant about lineage is that the parents of all four women left their daughters with role models of hard work, good marriages, and a belief their children could succeed.
Staying current
When you’re 90 or older, where does technology fit in your life? What about keeping up with the news? Or do you?
Again, in all cases the women stay current. Eva has the advantage of spending her days on a college campus where discussions of political philosophy are daily fodder. However, she is the least technologically adept. She confesses she is “utterly ignorant” and has no computer in her home. She writes her essays and books longhand on yellow-lined legal pads with “a screw pencil.” A former student then transposes her work into Word. She owns a cell phone but seldom uses it. Friends from across the globe know to reach her—as they do often—through her landline. She answers only if it’s a caller she recognizes.
Miss Bea has a cell phone but no computer. Both Anna and Rita use their cell phones and home computers frequently. All keep up with the news, locally and nationally. Anna reads three daily newspapers. Rita even reads the paper from her hometown of Worcester, Massachusetts, although all her friends there are gone.
Advice to those younger
Who wouldn’t want to live into their 90s if you could be as healthy, active, and involved as these women are?
So, what’s their advice to those aspiring to be just like them?
Eva acknowledges it’s the college that’s kept her alive. She counsels others to “do it your way. Find work that is absorbing to you.”
Anna recommends three simple rules: “Eat well. Exercise. Be positive and look to the future.” She also says it helps to be financially secure. Often to gain a leadership role in the community “you’ve got to give of your resources.”
Miss Bea admits she has had help all her life—first her grandmother, then her mother, and now her children. She tells young people to stay active and “trust in the Lord.”
It may be Rita who sums it up best. She advises younger women to “live a clean life. No drinking. No smoking. And stay active.” Then she concludes with three simple words: “Faith, family, and friends.”
A final note from the author
After spending time with each of these four women, what lingers are (a) the sound of their voices (b) how they appear, and (c) how much they are loved. None sounds “old” or looks “old.” You hear laughter, joy, clarity, and wisdom. You see pinked skin, lipstick, bracelets, silky blouses, and sparkling eyes. And you understand why their children, friends, and colleagues love them.
You see women very much alive. O, to be like that.
